I want to be honest with myself. I'm still waiting for true love.
And it's not just about love,it's about everything.
I don't fall in love with people that have nothing in common with me. So speaking of love I could actually fall in love with a girl.MAYBE?
It might be an excuse for my infinite sadness that kills me deeply and hardly,inside. I clearly know I'm not alone,cause I have friends, few who really care about me. They don't show me their love most of the time cause we dont need to say I LOVE YOU or I MISS YOU every single day. I mean,I think it's obvious we miss each other and we love each other. But lifes gave us a far birth place so we manage that with patience.
Now I want to be honest about something else. It can't be possible,and I know it, that I only fall in love with people who really don't know who I am. It's not about sex,or passion,it's about something that goes like this: "Hey I know how you felt,and feel right now. I get you. I get everything you do or say cause I like you without any specific reason except you make me feel part of yourself. No matter what it's going to happen in reality,I will love you forever,I will sacrifice my life cause I know there's none out there who makes me feel better than you do."
These words come just from the deep of my heart and every single minute of my life I have open eyes dream in which I'm talking to this person saying this fucking shit.
Sounds stupid, ridiculous but I've read something this morning which is about a girl and a boy. They loved each other so bad but they couldn't manage their love because there were so many things going on there and also their love was too intense to be managed. So they got lost,I mean phisically and they've never been truly happy.
This is what is love about? I mean,pain?
Yeah,maybe for girls like me love is just an infinite and intense pain that after a while of happiness will end up in tragedy.
Love doesn't exist right now, for me love is just something I can't have.
domenica 19 dicembre 2010
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